I'm from Pluto!

Well last night was certainly exciting! When I arrived to work, the street was lined with ambulances dumping all the lovely patients off on us. Of course our lobby was balls to walls! There was just about no chairs left for people to sit down in. We had very sick patients, yes it was one of those nights were not only were we busy, but we were busy with many traumas, ICUs and just sick sick people! One of our patients that was brought in by ambulance was covered in fecal matter, was crazy in general and stunk. She had poo coated all over her hands, her pants was full of green muschy shit and it was all down in her pant legs. Of course she was my patient, so I had the joy of getting her all hooked up to cardiac monitors, blood pressure cuffs, doing the EKG and other things we do upon arrival. And then the nurse said the impending words of doom that I knew was coming! She is going to need a shower Jake! So my co-worker and I stripped her of her clothes, put them in a bio bag and shoved her in the shower. My co worker stayed in there with her and did the main bathing part, for that I am grateful! Then several nasty, crazy, rude patients later, we had this woman come in by ambulance. She was there for psychosis. She was from the planet Pluto, and hated anyone from the planet Earth. She started cussing all of us before she even got off the cot it the hallway. She was taken to her room where she continued her rudness. She kept walking down the hall and yelling at everyone who crossed her path. She said some very rude things to our unit secretery. She kept telling us that she went across seas for our fat asses. She then was esscorted outside by our security whom she felt the need to get in their faces and threaten with a pencil! She then went across the street where we smoke and asked all of our employees for cigarettes. When everyone denied her based on our policy that don't allow us to give cigarettes out to patients; she then began screaming at the top of her lungs "this is why no one likes coming to this hospital, because all of you guys have attitudes!" She then went back inside where she continued screaming down the hallways and cursing at everyone and eventually calmed down when we gave her medicine. In any event, we had a lovely and exciting evening!! Oh also a young boy had his face blown off from a firework explosion, SAD!